Author Darlene J. Conard

Free download! Worry free surfing, your identity and personal information is safe with us!” The majority understand that there are security issues. Staying safe is definitely a concern nowadays.

 Recently I watched a documentary raising awareness concerning digital manipulation. Hackers prey on society’s fear to stay secure. Cleverly they use the right words to lure in the victim. “Sir/Madam your personal information is our concern.” Fillers are dropped in by making sure that fear button is active. It’s one of those wolves in sheep’s clothing matters.

We are anxious to stay safe, anything or anyone who claims to have our back is a safeguard. False security is in my opinion the greatest danger of all. Once the deceiver has won a pass through our trust gate, that’s it! Floodwaters of deception come rushing in. So how do we know it truly is legit?

I fell prey to false security concerning my soul, I thought while watching the video. Our identity in Christ is more important than materialistic possessions.  

 Our souls are under attack. So many in the world fall into false beliefs. Jesus warns saying, “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” (Matthew 7:15 KJV) Paul warned, “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them that cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.” (Romans 16: 17,18 KJV)

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. (John 10:27-28) If we are praying, spending time with the Lord, reading His word, we will know without hesitation what His voice sounds like.

Beloved listen to for the distinct sound of the Spirit.

Author Darlene J. Conard

This certainly isn’t the expectation I had, I thought stewing over unfortunate attempts to do the moral thing. Sitting in the silence of darkness I repeatedly scolded myself with, “Why can’t I do anything right? When will I learn to stay behind the line instead of swiftly rushing in to be a good Samaritan?” It’s one of those moments where you have stepped foot in the valley of decision not knowing when it will expire. It’s like an unpleasant song repeatedly playing in your head.

Interrupting my sulking I saw in my thoughts Peter stepping out of the boat. Did the other disciples discourage him? Fear ceased for them the moment they saw a figure walking on the raging sea towards them. Fear conceives all sorts of ideas. (Matthew 14:22-33)

Peter had more guts than I ever would! I’ll never forget almost drowning on several accounts. It was horrifying! Walking on the riverbed’s solidity then suddenly the next step is an unexpected depth: it was more than enough to discourage me from learning to swim.

Several years ago, before the death of one of my close friends, Becky Bailey sent me a message titled, Healing River Encounter by Josh Mills. The words pulled me into a memory. At the beginning of my conversion, I struggled terribly. Nothing made sense. I felt things that I didn’t before. Dreams and visions became a part of what is now normal for me. God’s voice continually called to me to draw closer to Him.

Ezekiel’s encounter was different than Peter’s. He was instructed by an angel to walk in the water.  Each thousand cubits took him into depths until he could go no further unless he swam across. That water would heal accept the swampy areas. (Ezekiel 47:1-12)

Our hardest places in life offer an opportunity to reach places in the spiritual realm beyond our intellect. A yearning for His holy presence will replace anything in this world.

I leave you with this: don’t waste such a moment to step into a place of prayer, praise and thanksgiving in honoring Jesus.

“Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.” Psalm 42:7 KJV

Author Darlene J. Conard

(Photo is from, The Chosen written and produce by Dallas Jenkins)

Beneath my feet lay pieces of broken toys. A wheel here, a marred block there, a few pieces from a torn doll indicated that children actively played. If those toys had feelings, I could relate to their brokenness. I’m sure all of us could!

I enjoy watching a series called, The Chosen. The series reveals that the disciples were imperfect: short tempered, hungry, tempted, angry, argumentative and even questioning themselves. One episode Mary Magdalene falls into temptation when a demoniac begins to remind her of her past. She listened to him as he reminded her of how vile she was. Shame ensnared her. Mary revisits her old hangouts and begins picking up the habits.

Jesus sends several disciples out looking for her. Finally, Matthew and Peter find her sitting in an alley.  They plead with her to come back. “He already fixed me once,” she replied. Matthew’s answer to her is an unforgettable one, “He can fix you again.” The scene absolutely hit a wall accumulating within my spirit, such as: I have asked God to forgive me a thousand times. I’m tired of hurting, struggling and taking unknown steps ending in disaster. I’m tired of wrestling with why I’m always the enemy when I’ve tried helping by praying, encouraging and doing things. Isn’t that what Christians do? I’m tired, broken and I don’t want to hurt anymore! Brokenness isn’t pleasant in the least.

Getting back to those broken toys, most would throw them in the trash.  Some have dedicated themselves to restoring them. “I’ll take time to thoroughly clean them, examine parts, replace brokenness with new, mend torn pieces with needle and thread, whatever it takes.

Hours upon hours, even days pour into restoration. Evidence of its battered state is no more; yet, its uniqueness is preserved.  

“God that’s exactly what You do! Devastation rushes in with its hands, pulling, rending us and leaving scars. You don’t throw us away as some do.” It’s true, He fixed us once but it won’t be the last. Restoration isn’t beyond Him.

“For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.” (Jeremiah 30:17 KJV) This is one of many scriptures of God’s restoring power.

Isaiah 42:9 is a promise, “Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.” Seek Him with all your heart, mind and soul. Talk, cry out to Him plow through your brokenness. He will hear and answer. Yes, beloved it will take time; however, you will be restored. I suppose the reasons behind toy restorers are the same. “Someone saw my worth.”

Author Darlene Conard
October 2010

(Some names have been changed for privacy purposes)

My sister’s and I spent weeks at a time in the hospital in Morgantown WV. We believed everything had a purpose. Friendships developed with patients and medical staff. I had the privilege of meeting a six- nine-year-old lady who needed someone to talk to about her deceased husband who served in Vietnam.

I pulled up a chair beside her bed.” How are you, Helen?”

“Oh, I’m as good as I’m gonna’ be I recon.’ Your sister’s just left.” She managed to grin then winked at me. Smiling at her I reached to help her cover her arms. “So, Helen,” I said having full interest, “what do you want to talk about today?” Giving her my full attention, I settled in the chair anxiously waiting. She perked up like a child receiving a brand-new toy. “Did I tell you about my Roy serving in Vietnam?” My expression changed as I arched a brow. “No ma’am.” I shook my head. “Oh, my honey, he had a hard time. I was proud of ‘em. I sent him letters of everything happen’en back home.” Love letters sent during the war kept this soldier strong. I thought. “Oh, honey I miss him so.” The light in the room reflected on her misty- eyes. “We don’t have to talk about it since it hurts you so much.” I pulled several tissues out of the box and handed them to her. Her weak hand raised to wipe her wet cheeks and eyes. “No, it’s ok sweetie. My daughter won’t listen to me- nobody does it seems.” My heart went out to her. She needed to talk about someone who once shared his heart with her. To this day she continued to hold his heart in hers. He took apart of her with him. There was and never will be another such love in her life. For a few moments we silently sat. She took a moment to follow memories that she bottled-up. “Are you okay Helen.” She giggled, “Oh I’m fine honey.” She swept the tissue across her eyes one more time. I wanted to ask her the cause of his death instead I remained quiet. Her silver short curly hair shined matching the shine on her face.

Several nurses walked in disturbing the moment of silence. “Helen I will come back to visit you. I’m sure Janet and Susan will stop in.” I put the chair back in its place then gave her a hug. “Make sure you stop in to see me again hun’. I enjoy having someone to talk to.”

“I will, promise.” I whispered in her ear before breaking from her embrace.

How is it possible to connect with strangers as though they never were strangers? Perhaps that is what God calls bearing witness.
“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. “James 1:27 KJV

We will never know who we will touch. That day our greatest blessings come through reaching out to others.

Now I understand what one of my close friends meant by kindred spirits. Becky Bailey taught me so much about that. She has went on to her reward.

Author Darlene Conard

During the night of March 28, 2006, I slipped out of the motel room walked the halls, foyer, and private stairways, to the point of exhaustion. I returned to my room not to slip in bed and fall asleep but to hide away. Quietly I turned the handle, slipped into the bathroom then locked the door behind me. I pressed my tense body against it slowly sliding to the concrete floor. There I wept until I felt numb. The throbbing pain in my temples became unbearable. My heart’s door tightly sealed denying access to peace.

There was no peace. “Is this what hell on earth is God?” My heart felt what David describe in his writings, it’s failing. Was this what Joseph felt when his brothers sold him into slavery? They hated his dreams! I felt betrayed in more ways than one. (Genesis 37:2)

Joseph remained in prison for a reason. Two years of his life would seem wasted. A dreary rat-infested prison is far from appearing safe not to mention useful! He found himself there because Potiphar’s wife didn’t want to take responsibility for her actions. She lied to cover her tracks.

Day by day I’m sure felt like hell- no mercy, justice, nothing except torment. Maybe thoughts ran through his mind such as, why am I in prison? I was minding my own business. Her deceptive way got her what she wanted.

Potiphar’s wife could do no wrong. I suppose it was his duty to stand by her although she is deceptive. How could Potiphar question Joseph’s loyalty? He presented himself loyal. He proved that.She could win a trophy for the great act she put on. I sound harsh but it’s the truth! (Genesis 39:19-21) I felt that my punishment to be unnecessary! I couldn’t breathe, talk or move without fearing.

I slumped to my side using my folded arms as a pillow. I’m getting numb, very numb! “I suppose God it’s Your will to be trapped in this cage of hell. Have I failed you that much? So, You’re angry with me about things and this is a punishment.” Sucking in a full amount of air I held it in my lungs before exhaling. The darkness didn’t seem so bad, not bad at all! How on earth did this come about?
I’m no longer surprised how the gain of power can transform people to be superior. Perhaps we’ve had or thought people were a friend until tested by something or someone. Jesus asked Philip, “I’ve been with you for this long. How can you not know Me?” (John14:19) All this time of being with Philip he didn’t know that God sat in front of him. “Show us the Father.”

We’ve all found ourselves in pain’s squeezing grip. Every ounce of hope strangled. Such moments don’t reserve one space for relief. “I can’t see my way through!” The truth is hope isn’t choked out. Buried deep God’s light will shine in the ash causing life to spring up. He’s faithful. Call on Him He will answer.

“I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.” Psalm 3:4 KJV

Author Darlene Conard

The amber sun with its display of colors disappeared as night made its entrance. A remaining glow outlined the mountains of Jerusalem. Saddened, the disciples dropped their heads in silence. What just happened? Judas walked among them; he betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. Peter denying Jesus, slicing the soldier’s ear off: Jesus unhesitant picks it up heals it into place. Wailing burst from the throats of the passionately dedicated followers. The ground opened its mouth to receive the blood of Jesus. Heaven and earth shook violently. What happened? Slumber won with its cumbering embrace. “Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man.” (Proverbs 24:33-34)

At the sound of the rooster crowing the words Jesus spoke to Him earlier cut him deeply. “Truly I say to you, that this night before the cock crows you’ll deny me three times.” (Matthew 26:34)

All the promises Jesus made spilled out of their hearts as they sat in disbelief. Hopelessness appeared to have the upper hand.

“The LORD of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand,” … Isaiah 14:24

Can we count how many times we’ve questioned the Lord? I’ll be the first to raise my hand: done it many times! He did conquer death and hell. (Read Mark 16)

Writing is my passion! This is how I envision the aftermath of the crucifixion. The greatest thing about the Bible is everyone’s life story is written in it. Have you denied Jesus out of pressure? Are you lost, confused and alone? Abused, physically or mentally: whatever state we find ourselves in Jesus’ cords mercy, grace and compassion will reach beneath us pulling us out, if we accept it.

“In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me.” Psalm 120 KJV

Author Darlene Conard

I remember mostly of that particular church conference for ladies in 2011 of April, a sweep of God’s spirit moved over the packed tight congregation. With prevail I worked my restrained arms from the pressing crowd. Stretching them upward I released myself in response of God’s presence. Tears of despondency slowly cascaded down my cheeks soaking the rim of my blouse and jacket.

Disappointment seeped in the chambers of my heart. Why Lord is it that I continue with a troubled heart knowing You said not too? One of the ladies stepped down quickly descending from the podium to pray for me. Gently touching my forehead, speaking, “Jesus.” Whoever she was, God placed her there at the right time.

Savoring the moment, I stood leaning forward with my hands clenched to the edge of the pew’s back. Something is missing-something isn’t right, I can’t pin point it. I thought. Surely this isn’t all. When is a door opening for me?
After returning to the motel room, I sat by the window for a few moments to unwind. Moonlight bathed the room even with lamps on. Unable to resist I turned every light off in my room then sat quietly by the window. The vent’s cool flow of air touched my flushed cheeks. Nothing could steal this moment of being showered with moonlit kisses. Perhaps this is God gently kissing me on the face.

God’s presence lingered creating an atmosphere of security. I could physically touch Him even inhale His presence. Impending promises began reflecting toward my life.

“He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.” Song of Solomon 2:4

After sitting an hour in front of the massive hotel window I tore myself away to change and turn in. I tossed the neatly tucked covers down then slid under the cold sheets. While turning to my side a shaded pattern from the moon caught my eyes on the wall. Worries in that moment stayed behind the door in the attic of my mind. A sensation of contentment cradled my spirit as images of heavenly things lingered in my thoughts. I’m your refuge and strong tower. Greater things are in store for you. My undeniable fear of missing God’s purpose for my life halted as I enjoyed the floaty feeling. Nothing could disturb the penetrating touch of His inexhaustible compassion.

“God kiss me on the forehead once more before I close my eyes,” I cued in a soft toned voice. My study breathes soothed me into complete surrender. Even the pillow under my head reminded me of angelic feathers.
“His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.” Song of Solomon 2:6
Constant words of His ministering power rocked me into a peaceful slumber. I laid relaxed and content in the rest of midnight’s hours. I definitely had a refreshing experience.

God’s unquenchable presence will bring healing to our broken hearts. What every we are going through He will see us through.

Fasten your seatbelt! Get ready for God to take you on an unforgettable journey.
Keep praying and seeking Him. He is no respecter of persons (Romans 2:11)

Author Darlene J Conard

“What now? What do we do? There’s no way out! Why did God lead us to dwell in this destitution?” Fear stole their hope strangling the fire that God’s wonders brought. We’ve all been in the children of Israel’s state of mind. “No way out of this situation. I just don’t see it.” Well, my friend our perspective is off.

Deep in thought I’ve often imagined God yawning after the flick of His finger. Nothing challenges Him! “Give me another prayer.” He’s God all by Himself. God promised Abraham he would father many nations. He swore by Himself, why? No one exceeded His greatness. No one or thing ever will. Hebrews 6:13

Isaiah 45:11, one of my many favorite passages says, … “Ask me of things to come concerning my sons, and concerning the work of my hands command ye me.” Wow! Amazing! Commanding in this verse is not to approach Him disrespectfully. God is inviting us to declare what He has already promised. “God manifest Your power in this situation. Reveal Your unattainable power in the court room. Jesus reveal Your redeeming power in the life of my loved ones. I declare it done!

“Behold, I have received commandment to bless: and he hath blessed; and I cannot reverse it.” (Numbers 23:20) God said in this passage He received commandment to bless: He has blessed, sealed and delivered! I love this! (Paraphrasing) “Ask Me about the blessing reserved for your sons and daughters. Anything concerning them let Me reveal it to you.” I love God’s invitations to come boldly before the throne of grace Paul wrote about in Hebrews 4:16. Seek His face not His hand. He loves our adoration towards Him.

“Yea, before the day was I am he; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand: I will work, and who shall let it?” (Isaiah 43:13 KJV) Not one of can do what only God can do. Maybe you have situations at work, in a friendship or healing in your marriage, or bad relationships from the past. He’ll do it His way. He knows how to orchestrate people, places and things. God sees the intent of hearts, condition of the mind and the state of our being. We truly believe we know ourselves until He unveils strengths and weaknesses.

“The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts of the belly.” (Proverbs 20:27 KJV)

“But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:10 KJV

Hebrews 4:12 says, He’s the discerner of our thoughts and intents of the heart. Don’t underestimate your earnest prayers. Fervently
God spoke to Noah in a cramped-up situation He created. Animals of every kind, family and perhaps other necessities. God makes us uncomfortable on purpose to motivate out of comfort. (Genesis 8:1-8) The unseen cocoon we are experiencing is a time of growth. Take it, use it, ask Him to show His glory as Moses did in Exodus 33:18.

Author Darlene J Conard

“Lord, I thank You for every trial. I thank You for they have caused me to draw closer to You. I thank You for planting my feet here in my town. Thank You for every closed door that’s escorted by an opened door. Thank You for the good and bad experiences for through them I’ve witnessed Your faithfulness, love, mercy and grace. Thank You Lord, for trusting me with it all. Father thank You for having confidence in me when I or others haven’t.”

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Giving thanks for trials, divers temptation, closed doors, or betrayal to me didn’t feel like a celebration in the least. It took something devastating to teach me -why and how- giving thanks for such things is actually a powerful tool.

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:2-4 KJV

It’s a sure indication, “I’m on the right track.” You’re on the right track! Fiery trials will either make or break us.

Jesus fasted and prayed in the wilderness for forty days to gain power over self-will. The devil tempted him three times. First, he tempted him to turn stones into bread, didn’t work. Secondly, he carried Jesus to the Pinnacle of the temple at a terrifying height: a 450-feet drop down to the valley below. Research it, its equivalents can be compared to a 45- story building. “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written, (here we go) “He shall give His angels charge over you, and in their hands, they shall bear You up, in case you dash your foot against a stone.” Thirdly, he carries Jesus up to, the Bible says an exceedingly high mountain saying, “All this I’ll give You, the world and all it’s glory. If You bow to me. Each time Jesus hit him with the word. Satan used, -if- if You are the Son of God to hopefully manipulate Him into taking the bait. He also used, “for it is written” satan knows the word well. He twists it deviously making it sound as truth. That’s why it’s so important to stay in prayer. Let our ears and hearts be sensitive to the distinct sound of God’s voice. Know the Bible, “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1) Satan believes the word more than we do. That’s why he manipulates through our weakness. He knows that getting on our knees, earnestly praying will change us and those around us.

Every trial that’s come my way has taught me just how faithful He is. It’s taught me to empty me to fill to overflowing with Him. They have caused me to draw nearer to Him. He will envelope us with His gentle embrace. “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.” … James 4:8

Author Darlene Conard

“On a hill far away, stood an old rugged Cross
The emblem of suffering and shame
And I love that old Cross where the dearest and bestFor a world of lost sinners was slain
And I’ll cherish the old rugged Cross
And till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown”
-George Bennard- 1913

My soul embraced every word to the old familiar hymn. Don’t think for a moment the power of the cross is long gone. This world will never destroy or water it down.

Blood does have a voice. (Hebrews 12:24)

Starting at the age of fifteen, I wondered the streets looking for answers. Wondering through night’s darkest hours gave me a sense of belonging to something. Darkness felt safe. It felt right until it retaliated. It was a nightmare! Somebody prayed for me. I no longer live there!

His tender mercies renew every day. My repeated failures forgiven. His throne of grace’s accessibility is opened at all times. As for me often I felt that He would grow weary of me. He doesn’t. He’s patient.

God is patient with us. “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward,” … (2 Peter 3:9 KJV) He is not slow concerning promises. Our impatience considers Him slow. The blindman by the wayside received his sight. (Mark 8:22-25) Legion who was full of demons was found clothed and in his right mind. (Mark 5:1-20) Lazarus’ body lay in the tomb for four days. Still, he was resurrected. (John 11) Water was turned to wine. (John 2:1-11) An adulterous ready to be stoned received redemption. The Bible is full of miracles, signs and wonders! (John 7:53 – 8:11) You know what? Our testimony can be found in the word of God. Who can you relate to? Power continues flowing from the pages of the Bible into our lives. Power, not just any power, God’s power transfers, every written word into circumstances. If we truly believe!

In all my short comings, circumstances, heartaches, whatever the case may be. I chose to bury myself in the bosom of Calvary. I didn’t come looking for Him. He came looking for me: He comes to you.