Habakkuk 2: 2-3 And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. (3) For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.
My friend’s daughter at twelve months tiny feet made way to a broken Darlene during a prayer meeting. With my forehead pressed tight on the fold of my tear-soaked arms, on my knees at a chair, her feather light hand rested on my back as she in her own way prayed for me. No one influenced my arising faith like she did. Ellie did what she knew to do. It makes sense when Jesus says, “Verily I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3 KJV
In the book of John 6:1-13 the remainder of a young man’s food became a feast for the five thousand who followed Jesus. Five loaves of bread and two fish, wow! Great is our God! A mustard seed is a tiny amount of faith that goes a long way!
Children’s hearts are fragile, yet quick to forgive. I experienced many heartbreaks as I volunteered in my hometown community center. Children in and out of the facility came bearing unnecessary hardships daily.
One day after school, a child sat at the table to enjoy the meal I prepared for him. Bowing his head, he said blessing then began eating. “Miss Darlene,” he said taking bites of his sandwich, “where does the food come from that we eat here.”
“It’s donated by pantries; grants are written and sometimes stores give food.”
Daylen remained until closing time. He made his way to my desk with his backpack in hand.” Miss Darlene can anyone donate?”
“Sure honey.” He slipped his hand in his bookbag pulling out a meal packet given to him at school. “I want to donate this.”
“Daylen you don’t have to do that. It’s ok. We will receive more donations.”
“I want to make sure that someone else has food. I know what it’s like to be hungry.” Pain shot through my heart. “That’s so sweet of you. Thank you for this Daylen.”
“You’re welcome, see you tomorrow, Miss Darlene. Have a good day. The moment he walked out the door I rushed to turn off the lights bursting in tears. Conviction overpowered the root of bitterness growing from a heartful situation I encountered.
Childlike faith has a tremendous influence. Jesus said not to turn them away or offend them. (Matthew 18:6,7 19:14) Offend as in neglect, cutting them down with negativity, or correcting without compassion but with despise.
“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”
“Okay God, I’m laying everything out on the table. Everything!” A sleepless night could mean what it meant for Jacob. (Genesis 32:24-32) Who in their right mind would challenge God who is all power? Well…. , the truth is we’ve all done it in some form or fashion.
A month of tossing, turning, and staring at the ceiling had to end, soon!
I have this terrible habit of stocking my inner attic to the brim with things I haven’t approached God about. Concerns, hurts, you name! Doing what is expected of me, I put my happy mask on. Of course, God sees behind the mask. Most of the time I do this to keep people off my back. Here I am being transparent, making myself vulnerable. Not too long ago I listened to a message which hit home for me. This lady explains God wanted her to speak of all her struggles, things that once entrapped her. Why? To many people believe they were alone. The heaviness of shame needed to be broken from their lives.
Why can’t we accept that it’s okay, not to be, okay? Within seconds of stepping into my apartment the charade ends.
To my knowledge the Bible doesn’t give details concerning the wrestling match in Genesis 32:22-31. The man whom he wrestled with pleaded for release saying, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” There was something significant about that time. Prior he made his bed unknowingly on holy ground. (Genesis 28:10-22) Jacob encountered God differently in so many ways. His purpose in life was much different than everyone else’s.
Before that long, restless night Jacob had a history of deception and scheming. Change is a wrestling match. God knew that this isn’t who he was. As always, it’s going to be a battle to get to the next elevation. Tremendous changes were made before getting where I’m at. No, it’s an uncomfortable, long and frustrating journey! This will not be my last.
My message is this, don’t disregard being unsatisfied with your walk with Jesus. Pray through and obey Him. Understand, change takes time. We cannot be righteous without Him. … “we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.” Isaiah 64:6 KJV Yes, loneliness is going to shut everyone else out. It’s going to be you and God. Jacob invited God in receiving his change, with a new name.
How could I be preachy though standing in silence, or releasing encouragement? “Keep praying. It’s going to be okay. Don’t give up reading your Bible. Absorb little bits at a time.” Humm, so what did I miss? God did I miss something; or, is encouragement defined as preaching?” Throwing my hands in the air confused I just couldn’t brush it off. Earnestly drilling deep into observation want to correct my actions.
All things have their measurements food, clothing, mounts, seas, you name it! Our height is one thing, our spirit is another. Measuring up to society will certainly distort who we are. Measuring up with God’s word is substantial. So, I’m learning this. Imagine running a race to a goal that keeps getting moved back. Effort has no purpose; you can’t reach it. God is compassion, mercy, and good, nothing like what Vogue, Cosmopolitan or any other magazine portrays.
Paul’s letter to believers in Rome, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2 KJV) Don’t comply with society’s standards.
The demoniac of Gerasene manifested the moment Jesus stepped out of the boat. Jesus didn’t speak one word. Legion immediately ran falling on His knees before Him. Legion wasn’t the identity of this man. God’s presence travels. (Mark 5:1-20, Luke 8:26-39) Acts records an account of seven priest attempting to cast an evil spirit out of a man. Speaking the name of Jesus wasn’t sufficient. God’s presence wasn’t with them. “Jesus, we know and Paul we know, but who are you?” (Acts 19:12-16)
In response to my inquiry, “So what did I miss? Our lives are an open book. Have you heard the saying, “You’re the only Bible some people will read?” The more time we spend reading, studying the Bible and praying, our transformation proceeds. His glory showers us.
It’s not me, my presence that bothers people. It’s the presence of God. My desire is never for self-glory. He delivered me from bondage. I owe Him everything! I too was in the position accusing my grandma of preaching to me, though she remained silent before me. Yet before God, she poured her poured her heart out on my behalf.
I desire to be a book not looked upon because of the cover. I want to bare the glory of God inside out.
“Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men: forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart. 2 Corinthians 3:2-3 KJV
You are our letter written in our hearts. Known and read by all; undoubtedly you are a letter of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of flesh, that is, of the heart. You are the only Bible some people will read. You don’t necessarily have to say a word.
No one that I’m aware of would casually drink a bottle of pure lemon juice. Not unless sugar is added, maybe, I thought. Cool evening breezes touched my face as I walked briskly to the store. My heavy heart’s hands refused to let go of the basket of questions. Why? Why do I allow myself to care so much? Why can’t I just learn? Silent dialogs such as these are not out of the ordinary for me.
Closeness with anyone is always a risk. Attachment is what it is. People take a piece of you with them when they walk away. What can you say, when God assigns you to get involved? Trust Him!
God provided the necessities. Forfeiting the evidence of God’s power, they enthroned the precept of entitlement. Upon the moment of knowing the water was unfit to ingest they began to complain. Again, God was more than capable of doing the miraculous. Bitter water through Him was made sweet. Exodus 15:22-26
During the duration of my disclosure the Holy Ghost dropped something in my spirit. In the eyes of Israel their exile out of Egypt was bitter. God could have led them to their destination with ease, fast. Fast and easy is not necessary so great. Strategizing is what God does perfectly. He chose not to for several reasons. Number one would be entrapment. Fear would cause them to run back into Egypt. Secondly, the desert became a platform for trust, obedience and submission. (Exodus 13:17-18) Have you to questioned God in uncertainty? It only makes the process prolong. Speaking from my own experience it’s the same as walking in circles.
Conviction shot through me the moment revelation diminished the blinders of my spiritual eyes. Yes, He could answer prayer quickly. Yes, He feels our hurt. God sees and knows the danger before we even prayed about our situations. Don’t forget other people are involved. His patience and mercy are extended to them as well as it is to us.
“For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.”(Psalm 103:14 KJV) He is certainly aware of the weakness of our nature.
Jesus though He was God prayed, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.” Filled with bitterness it was the cup’s time to come forth. The moment His frame buckled; He I believe remembered whom He was drinking it for.
Your circumstance is bitter fret not, He in time will make it sweet. Remember the bitter cup we are drinking from is a sacrifice for others.
Photo is credited to “The Passion of Christ” produced by Mel Gibson
David started as a shepherd boy and ended as king. He stood strong in the midst of his brothers’ accusing words. From day to day the ten-foot giant suited in a massive armor of bronze stood on a hill bellowing out challenges towards Israel’s armies. David referred to them as the armies of the living God. Fear paralyzed their hearts, robbing them of whose they belonged to.
Victoriously he dismantled Goliath’s authority, not with weaponry made by hand; the name of the Lord won his battle. He earned his presence in King Saul’s palace. David didn’t realize that his seat on the throne was in transition. (1 Samuel 17) The weight of the crown was upon him. As king he held greater responsibilities. David oversaw the wellbeing of Israel. Primarily, God was his priority and Israel’s.
Jesus is referred to the son of David. He experienced the weight of the crown. Not that of gold filled with jewels, no elegance in the least. Mockers joyfully weaved together Judean thorns to fit upon His head. Roman soldiers pressed the crown of thorns until it pierced His brow. Blood didn’t flow from insignificant amounts.
Though the Bible explicitly records no elegant crown honored Him: the crimson drops of blood exceeded earthly kings’ riches. Jesus stepped down from the splendor of Heaven as a ransom for the undeserving. The king’s duty was to fight for his kingdom in battle. Victoriously Jesus dismantled hell, not with the ordnance of man but through His blood. That, my friend, is evidence of true love. Love that held no grudges, bitterness nor unforgiveness. That’s the king I desire to follow.
“God use me for Your glory! Give me the heart of a servant,” flowed from my soul every time my knees bore into my bedroom carpet. At the time I was a born again convert whose heart transformed from a cold, dark, bitter hard stone to being fervent, compassionate, full of God’s light. I meant every word! It felt so good to no longer be bound by those heavy weights! Those prayers ushered me right into multiple trials coming from every direction!
I continued, “God use me for Your glory! Give me a heart of a servant!” Sometime afterwards an evangelist testified about praying for God to use him. He goes on to explain that kind of prayer is a prayer of surrender. The outcome will determine our level of submission to God. The invitation releases trials. He too wondered, “Why is it the harder I pray for God to use me, everything hits at once?” I don’t know where to begin with what I learned. Dare I say, I felt that God used me for bait. (laughing) He certainly puts us on the spot!
“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17 KJV) I’ve heard this, it makes sense. The reason you bother some people is because you bother their demons. So much truth is in that. As glory a carrier within them are revealed. Here is the two-edge sword.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you” … James 4:7-8
There is a price to pay for the anointing. You may be saying, “Darlene, Jesus paid the price at Calvary.” He bled and died and resurrected defeating hell. He never promised afterwards life would be a bed of roses. He promised strength, direction, grace and mercy.
God used my grandmother so mightily to help people. She paid a price; she certainly went through the fire. From accusations to mockery, she stood firmly on the gospel. She inspired me with the way she prayed for her enemies, clothed, fed those without, visited the sick and made herself available. Through her obedience the Lord revealed Himself to her through visions, dreams and angelic visitations. “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: but rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”1 Peter 4:12-13 KJV
I look back at those times, the heat of the battle seemed more than I could possibly bear.
“What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!”
“O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer. Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer. Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer! In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.” – Joseph Medlicott Scriven-
Joseph Medlicott Scriven wrote the song, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus, after a series of losing loved ones.
It’s true we often reject peace in exchange for satan’s lies. Our history books are full of intense wars, the strategic efforts crafted in the hands of hatred, greed, jealousy and pride. The earth has seeped a great amount of innocent blood. Those wars were generated from an inner war, good, evil, and self.
David devised a plan to take Uriah out after learning Bathsheba carrying his child.2 Samuel 11:15. He should have been on the battlefield. He was in the wrong place; the wrong time and he fell into temptation. God wasn’t his first love. He knew Uriah didn’t belong in the frontline of the battlefield alone.
He sacrificed someone who was loyal to him. It’s heartbreaking to me! Loyalty is everything. Such devotion is priceless. Uriah didn’t have a reason to question his king.God didn’t blot him out. He was still known a man after God’s own heart. God confronted him through Samuel. David humbled himself in the sight of God. “Thou shalt not die David.” 2 Samuel 12:13
Yes, the inner war is fierce at times. There is an old Cherokee parable that explicates an inner war.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
We wrestle with ourselves, God and principalities.
I thought long and hard on the passage in Isaiah referring to Lucifer, the fallen angel. They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, and consider thee, saying, “Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms;That made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof; that opened not the house of his prisoners? All the kings of the nations, even all of them, lie in glory, everyone in his own house.” (Read Isaiah 14:16-18) He will narrowly be looked upon. The damage is taken into consideration; it’s quite a bit when he amounts to nothing. Think about how one thought comes to mind, a destructive thought all dressed up looking just right. Deviously that seed penetrates deep within our spirit. It takes root. Roots are dominant when watered well. All it needs is for you to forfeit truth.
… “there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.” (John 21:25 KJV)
How many more things could there possibly be? I thought, trying to fathom an exact number. Thinking about it breaks down my mental capacity. I thrive on being an author. No limits of what I can write or about who, what, how and where. Anything can happen at any given moment.
Writing what inspires me is important. I’ve never given it much thought until recently. The books of my choice are usually thick. Once I begin reading, I’m caught! Just one more page, I thought hours prior. Before I realize it, chapter five is upon me! Bits and pieces began compiling. Characters in one chapter may not be in the next. Somewhere down the road they have a role in the story.
Am I the only one who falls in temptation to go to the last chapter to appease my wondering thoughts? We want to know exactly how the story ends. Hoping the character’s outcome beautifully came together, hopeful and maybe even what we thought. “Yes! I knew it! Thank goodness!
His words are the mapping of our story. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jeremiah 29:11 KJV) His thoughts about us are expectancy, peacefulness and genuine. God sees the beginning from the end of our lives. Give yourself some time to think about this. Those books which aren’t written as recorded in Luke could be our story. God doing great works in our lives. He is doing just that!
Daily I make a point to remind myself that the present state of situations is not the final outcome. Easily our assurance rests in the core of our emotions. Bad decisions, thoughts and actions take place. “God is still writing your story, quit trying to steal the pen and let God write your story.” This famous quote by Toby Mac has left an imprint on my spirit.
As passionate as I am about writing my life story is in the hands of God. Your story is as important as mine. Hebrews 12:2 says, He is the author and finisher of our faith. Let the Author of a write your story. Don’t snatch the pen from His hand.
Training is something I despised at one time. Over and over, again and again I’d have to go through the process of learning. The instructor waited patiently. “Get it right.” Looking back on these things this has opened the spectrum for my spiritual sight. Every trial that chose us says, “Try me! I want to see what you are made of!”
“Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 KJV
If we think falling is impossible, Paul says, “Take heed.” We are going to be tested to see if we truly believe that we will stand.
Can I be transparent here? I’m the worst when it comes to being a perfectionist! One mistake that’s it! So, I keep a record of what I should and shouldn’t do. “I should have known better! When …when God am I going to learn? My list is a mile long in my sight. Fear strangles the purpose of God in our lives. Unlike me, Peter had at least the courage to step out, no questions. I’ve come a long way in that area.
Peter did something the other disciples didn’t. He stepped out on the water. He unfastened his focus on Jesus onto the storm. (Matthew 14:25-31) He sliced the ear off of one of the men who came to escort Jesus to trial. (John 18:10-11) Satan entered him disputing Jesus as He foretold of His death, burial and resurrection. Jesus mentioned, “whatever is bound on earth is bound in heaven. These are the keys.” Peter’s words were not that of God’s will but satan’s scheme. He tried to cancel the will of God. God cancelled his agenda. (Matthew 16:22-24) “Peter,” Jesus warned, “Satan desires to sift you as wheat.” (Luke 22:31-32) Oh… and the sifting is undeniably an experience that will bring knowledge. Take it and act with wisdom!
The Bible is not discrete concerning Peter’s failures; however, it speaks loud and clear of him being mightily used of God. Jesus didn’t say, “Peter you failed Me. I’m taking back the keys. I don’t want My church founded with you involved.” No… He said the opposite. (Matthew 16:18) He saw what Peter would become not what he was in that moment. The very one who denied Jesus lead the spiritually blind into the baptism of fire and the Holy Ghost. (Mark 14:66-68) (Acts 2) Jesus promised, “The gates of hell shall not prevail.”
God sees a warrior in us, when we see nothing.
My friend’s son who won the battle over drug addiction said something to me I’ll not forget. “God puts His strongest warriors at the head of the battle. Darlene, if He brought you to it, He’ll bring you through it.”
Years ago, I had an encounter with a stranger that changed my life. Getting out of my sister’s car to go into the gas station I came face to face with a drunkard. Intimidated by the man I stood frozen as slurred words come from his mouth. I opened my mouth saying, “Jesus loves you. I’m going to be praying for you.” Silence filled the air. “Please excuse me sir. I need to go into the store.” He stepped aside, letting me by.
I hadn’t been a Christian for very long. There was much for me to learn.
While getting the items on the grocery list the man outside approached me with tears in his eyes. “Ma’am thank you. I used to go to church but I backslid. My wife and I split up and I don’t see my daughter as much. I just want you to know, God has been dealing with me.” My heart ached for the man as I watched and listened to his sincerity. No longer did I see a man numb by alcohol, but someone quickened by the spirit of God.
Today going about my daily routine, I thought of how Jesus went after the one sheep that strayed. (Luke 15:3-7) I have fallen so short! He doesn’t reject me. Instead, His mercy comes after me.
My only motive for writing this is that my experience may encourage you. Words of hope are powerful enough to pull desperate souls out of destitution.
“Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.” (Luke 6:36) I definitely am in need of His mercy.
That one person whom we may not think or know is struggling are the ones God is working miracles in. Don’t be fearful or think for a moment that God can’t use you to make a difference!
“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14-16 KJV
WRITING GOD'S VISION----AUTHOR DARLENE JUANITA CONARD 
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