Author Darlene J Conard

Walking into grandma’s living room on 9/11 wasn’t pleasant in the least. Our normal routine of enjoying TV together turned into a time of mourning. Frozen in disbelief, I watched on the full view screen, New York’s emblems, the World Trade Center’s tops blazing with fire.  Gloomy grey clouds of smoke ceased the beautiful blue sky. Devastation had robbed the sun of its pleasant display. 

My heart still grieves after twenty-two years as if the horrific event happened yesterday.  

Scandalous deeds such as these have created a wide opened wound that bandaging cannot fix. No, I didn’t lose a loved one through this tragic event; I do feel the pain of my fellow- Americans.  “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Romans 12:15 KJV) Rejoice as in, One nation under God, morn over those lost due to evil.   Quite often I watch documented videos or read about the lives of those lost, listen to family members speaking about their pain, anger and frustration.

One of the documentations I watched involved collected artifacts such as coins, newspapers, personal belongings of individuals donated in remembrance of loved ones. The museum displays a piece of metal with a page of the Bible fused to it. God is speaking to us.

Yes, this was a tragic day for America but God is healing our land. Let’s continue to seek the living God that He may heal our land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

 ^“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord; and the people whom he hath chosen for his own inheritance.” Psalm 33:12 KJV

“For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.”

Ecclesiastes 12:14 KJV

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Author Darlene J. Conard

My two friends conversed while I sat quietly in the back seat of her vehicle thinking. Several years ago, Ang’s mother suggested that we meet in person. Tigger and I reunited after twenty-three years on the 9^th of August of this year.

Her spontaneous energy, happiness, bouncy and full of the Lord’s joy, characterized her with Winnie-the- Pooh’s friend Tigger.

Her role in my life began at the end of summer of 1999. We met through my grandma. Our departure wasn’t my or her decision. The decision was made by the pastor of the church I started attending. How could I have been so blind?  I thought. His reason was since I knew nothing about the Bible, I could be easily led astray. I missed her dearly and yearned for her presence to come back into my life. After all, it was her house I visited when I knew I needed deliverance from the torment that shackled me.  Razor, glass bruises on my body screamed, “Help me!” She prayed for me through some of the most fearful circumstances.

I refuse not to write about my testimony due to the unbelief, sarcasm and criticizing remarks of others. We have a generation of young people sinking in the pit of evil’s quick sand. I’m here due to the dedicated prayer life of my grandma and my friend Tigger. I will do the same.

Getting back on the subject of my thoughts, I knew that God orchestrated our trip to Nashville Tennessee to attend the Elijah Conference. Secretly, I prayed that one day to be in the midst of a group of prophets. There the three of us had the same desire destined to taste what will last a lifetime.

 …”in his times he shall shew, who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings, and Lord of lords;” 1 Timothy 6:15 KJV

That prayer was spoken in November 2020 listening to Kent Christmas in Nashville, Tennessee.  August the 10^th the scheduled event seemed so far, too far for anxious selves to wait! God seated Himself in her vehicle on the way to and back from that trip.

Since then, we’ve never been the same!

Author Darlene J. Conard

A need to explore through my Bible became more crucial than sleep. Slipping my hands beneath my pillow I felt around until I discovered its presence. My grandma had a special way of choosing a Bible by opening them up and stroking her hand across the pages.

Certainly, it’s no comparison to any book on this earth. It’s very much alive! In it contains the answers to everything life hurls our way. From page to page records the victories and the downfalls of mankind. Kings, priest, warriors, prophets, the ill-struck and so much more. At one time I pondered on nameless individuals in the Bible. There’s the adulterous, the centurion whose servant came eye to eye with death, the servant himself, the woman with the issue of blood and many more. They all have one thing in common, refusal to except their state of being   thrusted them into redemption, Jesus. Names aren’t important, their faith is. Surely there is someone, more than one can fill in the signature line saying, “I have an issue of blood. How can I be delivered from prostitution?” Drug, alcohol addictions? Yes, there is a fix that will not have side-effects: anything and anywhere there is a need. Jesus is the answer!

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 2 Timothy 3:16 KJV

There is a song called, Dust on The Bible, written by Mac Wiseman. I’ll be the first to confess, many times I have failed to pick my Bible up to read due to discouragement, or becoming to busy and tired. God forgive me!

“He came unto his own, and his own received him not. But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.”  John 1:11-14 KJV

God sets in a place by Himself. In Hebrews 6:13 describes the sincerity of promoting Abraham’s promise of fathering a great nation. …“because he could swear by no greater, he sware by himself,” says it all.

My desire is to go beyond the outer courts and into His throne room, His personal domain.

Darlene J. Conard

I could never unfold the depth of Jesus’ unlimited arms of forgiveness that extended to His persecutors. He was beaten beyond recognition, mocked, spat upon, yet He forgave. It exceeds all understanding. Intellectuals can’t in any form or fashion break mercy down like they can atoms, cells or anything else. Scientific instruments are without competition when it comes to God’s ways and thoughts.  

Why did He tell us to forgive those who trust pass against us? I thought to myself, “This is why I am always saying, sorry. I don’t want to trespass, break another person’s heart or wreck another person’s life. It’s hard to separate justice from injustice sometimes.  

The line in the Lord’s Prayer repeated over and over in my heart as he said prayer, “forgive those who trust pass against.”  On the cross Jesus said, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Mathew 6:9-13    The Lord’s Prayer

In my time of devotion, I’ve come to realize, forgiveness doesn’t excuse one’s behavior, forgiveness sets us free from the hold they have on our lives. It’s important to forgive the offender, and stand behind defense. We will remain under control of the person as long as we hold bitterness.

  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:12-15

Forgive for we to have fallen short. I’m not going to say it’s easy but through prayer deliverance is possible.

Author Darlene J. Conard

Like a spoiled child I’ve crossed my arms giving God the silent treatment. “Why, not? Why am I the one who is always left out?” I’d snap.  I’m going to tell you a story explaining exactly why God choose either wait, no or yes.

Years ago, I had the pleasure of being invited to a special event. The excitement of it left me in awe. I made many friends, learned new things and had a special memory. The next year I wasn’t invited. Feelings of worthlessness began to build up. I approached my friend about it. God kept telling me, “Do not push this. This door isn’t opened to you in this season.” Pushing the warning aside I thought, this is just me. While I was ironing clothes, shining my heels, that warning became more intense. What could go wrong? I’m with friends, right? To make a long story short. I regretted not listening to God. The individual I thought was my friend turned on me. “You should know me better than that!” I confronted them. Sadly, this person believed the lie. The whole thing taught me a hard lesson. Through it I learned not all friends who say they will pass the test.

God knows best for us, seeing way ahead than we ever could. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

^“ …  if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”  (Matthew 7:10-11 KJV) We ask Him to protect us: His answer, no is perceived as Him withholding good things. Truly He is protecting us from being bitten by a spiritual snake.

Hold on, God has much in store. Wait for the best to come!

Author Darlene J. Conard

Excitement carried me away the moment the instructor told me that I passed the test. “Come inside we will fix you up for your driver’s license.” Is this a dream? I thought. I’ve heard for so long that I would never drive, this moment felt improbable. Take a little walk with me, step by step.

In 2022 in October, I had begun having dreams of driving. The reality of the experience thrilled me! Sleep slowly left me snapping me into reality. “God why do You torment me with these dreams. I’d rather not experience them since they leave me disappointed.” I’m being honest with you, exposing my frailties as a Christian. Not long after that a lady contacted me through messenger asking me if I’ve ever driven. “Nope, I’ve never been given the chance.” Opportunity came to escort me out of dreaming into reality.

 I had several friends willing to teach me to drive. There were friends who would have if they could. They cheered me into pursuing an unfulfilled desire.

Obtaining a driver’s license with my identity screamed, “You can legally do something you’ve always dreamed of doing!”  

The next step left me- looking for a vehicle. I almost made a bad discission until I prayed about it. The Lord answered, “Be anxious for nothing. Wait upon the Lord. Be content in this moment.” Prayer is the most powerful act! Our counsel, strength, healing and peace come through the portal of prayer.

If we aren’t careful, we will settle for second best, when God promises the best!

^“ But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19 KJV)

Author Darlene J. Conard

Every few moments I checked my text messages for updates on a package coming to me. Several times my packages were delivered to either the wrong residence or behind my apartment. God taught me something through it.

On a rainy Monday evening I received an email from FedEx with an attached image proving delivery. How hard could it be to find? My feet slipped into my presoaked sneakers as I grabbed my umbrella going out the door. “This is so unfair God. Why– should I be out searching from house to house for the items I paid for, labeled with my address along with my name? I feel like I’m on an unnecessary treasure hunt.” I mumbled. Legally it’s mine and illegal for anyone else to possess it. The Holy Ghost replied to me, “With observation take this lesson and compare it to the spiritual.”

 Israel rightfully owned the land flowing with milk and honey because God said so. The enemy living on it didn’t change ownership. (Numbers 13)

We must push into seeking and taking back our joy, our territory. Remember the woman in Luke 15:8-10? She loses one coin of ten. Jesus goes on to teach does she not light a lamp, sweeps the house searching for it, preserving until it’s found? In this text it refers to lost souls.  

We cannot allow the enemy to dominate what is unlawful for him to possess. We must hold on to our joy, peace, love, faith and hope. Fight the good fight that Paul spoke of in 1 Timothy 6:12

“Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.”

Author Darlene J. Conard

“Do you remember God when I would cut myself, had so much hate?” Deep in thought I continued extending the list of my shortcomings. Sucking in deep breaths, I casually waited for an answer. Nothing but silence. “Lord, why aren’t you answering me?” In a still soft voice He replied, “I don’t remember. It was then I realized the score card I keep on myself is non-existent to Him. He is unlike us who harbor such things. Forgiving ourselves is as important as forgiving others who have violated our trust.

 Micah 7:19 is one of many promises, saying, “He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.” God is compassionate; but if we are holding condemnation tightly, God can’t do what He needs to do. We have forbidden Him from molding and shaping our lives. He will not force deliverance.

At one time I understood forgiveness to mean that I had to allow the person back in my life or I had not forgiven. Here is the revelation. Since forgiveness is an act and trust is earned, that means unforgiveness has become an idol.

Heavenly Father,

Search our hearts. Take anything out of us that is unholy and unjust. Replace them with Your goodness. Wash over us again that we may be made whole and not just healed. Forgive those who have trespassed against us. Give us the courage to take steps towards greater things. Help us to yield everything to You. We do not want idols in our lives, But You as our only Lord.

In Jesus Name Amen  

Besides Job’s endurance, Jeremiah was one who continuously preached to an unfaithful nation whose authorities imprison him restraining him in stocks. Scrolls he wrote upon were burned in a stoked fire in the hearth Not forgetting, he was left to die in the mud, and finally called a liar. (Jeremiah 7:27, 20:1-2, 36:23, 43:2)

The Apostle Paul was imprisoned multiple time, flogged, come face to face with death numerous times, five times received lashes, three times beaten with rods, sturdy rods. Assaulted with stones and three times ship wrecked. (2 Corinthians 11:23-33) Jesus endured great affliction. Beaten barebacked with a whip with 9 strands of braided leather with metal claws is brutal. Undoubtedly large chunks of flesh laid on the ground in pools of blood. (Matthew 27:32-66)

Isaiah 54:1-12 records, he was oppressed, afflicted, despised, rejected, bruised for our transgressions. The chastisement of our peace was upon Him.  Acquainted with grief and a Man of many sorrows all this we brought Him to a degrading level. We worry about beauty, our figure, what everyone else thinks; there was no beauty to be desired of Him. None! He opened not His mouth; He willingly gave Himself. Now let’s talk about endurance.

2 Timothy 2:3 KJV: “Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Join me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.”

Rejoicing in our suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character and character produces hope. (Romans 5:3-4) Production is process. Our character is built through every hardship we encounter. God is the Potter stretching, pressing, thronging there’s a great measure of pressure.

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12 KJV) By the leading of the Holy Ghost I searched out this scripture. Crown of life isn’t referred to eternity. The Greek translation for crown in this verse means, mark. Paul said, “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 KJV)

Press into completion. What awaits us at the end of every trial is far more rewarding than any perishable award.  (1 Corinthians 9:24-25) Paul asked the early Christians, “Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?” Refuse any hindrances whether it’s people, places or things. It’s not a race to compete with one another. It’s about reaching the pinnacle of His glory, steps higher. Run well, with grace, love and fervency!