Author Darlene J. Conard

As dusk enveloped the earth in its soft embrace, a symphony of chirping frogs filled the air, their harmonious sounds rising and falling like a well-rehearsed serenade. Faint traces of amber lingered on the horizon, remnants of the sun’s farewell embrace. The night crept in with an almost palpable urgency, veiling the sky’s sparkling stars and shrouding the moon in a cloak of shadows. Within me, silent battles raged, turmoil gnawing at the edges of my rational thought. The familiar comfort of the newness of the spring breeze, warm and fragrant, brushed against my skin, yet it offered little solace.

Paul’s detailed message, recounting his struggles and battles, revealed the depth of his turmoil—his narrative was far from a mystery to me.     … “I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.” Romans 7:23 KJV

As my thoughts, emotions, and essence floated away, they intertwined with the gentle whispers of the winds and the rhythmic caress of the waves, each moment carrying me further into the currents of existence. Amid this receding tide and flow, the Lord beckoned, “Come back to Me.”

 “My spirit hears you, Lord,” I whispered, drawing in a deep breath that felt as heavy as the weight of my uncertainty. Exhaling slowly, I let my shoulders droop in resignation, a physical manifestation of my inner turmoil. “I don’t know how,” I admitted, the words spilling out like a confession in the moment’s stillness.

I closed the door, the soft click echoing in the quiet room. A warm, amber light spilled through the small glass panel into the space, casting a golden hue against the walls. I stood transfixed by the gentle radiance, the familiar strains of “There is room at the Cross for you” whispering in my mind. A profound despair washed over me—I’m shattered into fragments! Scattered remnants of my spirit lay strewn across the landscape of my mind. My gaze drifted aimlessly, landing on a world devoid of hope.

Shaking free from the allure of the amber glow, I made my way to the window. The sun, a magnificent orb, loomed larger than life, its fiery colors blending in a breathtaking display. Reds and oranges merged into deep yellows and rich sienna, painting the horizon with the brushstrokes of twilight. Two solitary tears filled my cheeks as I glistened like falling raindrops. One tear followed the other, creating a small puddle on the sill below.

A desperate longing surged within me for a fresh start—a flicker of determination ignited amid my turmoil. Somehow, I had to summon the strength to fight through this chaos and reclaim the pieces of myself scattered in the dark.

I wrestled with the overwhelming temptation to surrender to the allure of exhaustion, grappling with an inner barrier that urged me to retreat and surrender to my tiredness. Each moment felt like a struggle against a heavy wave of weariness, as I fought to keep my resolve intact.

First things first, I desperately needed a nap. The fatigue weighed heavily on me! I slipped under the soft covers of my bed, grasped a plush pillow to snuggle with, and pressed it tightly against my body, seeking comfort. Yet, my mind raced with thoughts that refused to quiet down. An ache throbbed in my heart, a reminder of the pain I was enduring. How was I going to find a way through this darkness?

Hot tears began to cascade down the bridge of my nose, pooling and soaking into the fabric of my pillow. I felt utterly vulnerable. The warm amber light spilling through the door cast a gentle glow on the wall before me, its soft illumination a comforting reminder of Christ’s redeeming power, whispering hope into my troubled heart.

His deliverance for me, others, and others to come never expires. Mercy can’t be explained; it can only be experienced. He never fails to be merciful.

We all encounter the challenging barrier of weighty emotions and deep-seated discouragement that sometimes overwhelms us.

Yesterday, I experienced a profound moment of clarity in which God gently reminded me that every effort we make in His name holds significance and purpose. It was as if a warm light illuminated my understanding, reinforcing the truth that our actions dedicated to Him are never without meaning or reward.

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Galatians 6:9 KJV

Feel free to forward it to anyone you wish.  My mission is to encourage everyone to follow our Lord Jesus Christ with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. ©Darlene J. Conard Vision Ministries 2024.   This may not be republished or used without the author’s written consent. The photograph is AI-generated. Darlene J. Conard is also affiliated with Glory Carrier Ministries.

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