Author Darlene J. Conard

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the weekend ahead, but the words of a seasoned prophetess echoed in my thoughts. She had reached out to me with an intensity that I couldn’t ignore. She stressed how vital it was for me to attend their gathering, describing it as an opportunity not to be missed, “I feel God’s going to do something.” Her faith intrigued me and planted a seed of hope, making me wonder what revelations or connections awaited me at that meeting. I wasn’t used to being used and needed, and I dismissed God using me in no other way but to pray. She felt the urgency for me to be at the meeting so sternly that she paid for me a motel room.

 I love people. At one time, I wasn’t a people person at all. But God, I’m so weary! I’m so tired that I don’t want to fight anymore. This has been my battle for years.

I started to venture out and connect with people beyond the walls of what I had always thought of as a church. I was eager to explore new friendships and experiences, seeking connections beyond my previous surroundings and familiar rituals and routines. But a spiritual residue had accumulated from all the hurt over the years. One can only take so much; God knows that. The most devastating thing is that the church hurt, especially since it became a constant thing. I sought refuge in this place, hoping it would offer me a momentary escape from the chaos and cruelty of the world outside, a sanctuary from the everyday struggles that weigh heavily on my heart. Yet, to my dismay, I now find myself confronted with the harsh realities I wanted to flee, right here in the last place I expected: the church. The walls meant to provide solace seem to echo with the same burdens I hoped to leave behind, pulling me back into the turmoil I yearned to escape.

I want to share with you what awaited me behind this door.

A wave of uncertainty washed over me as I sat in quiet observation. I was taken by surprise when my name was called to come to the front of the church. It was a moment I hadn’t anticipated. For as long as I could remember, I had been a quiet observer, seated in the pews as others received powerful prophetic words that spoke directly to their lives, offering them guidance and hope. My heart raced as I walked forward. The warmth of the congregation’s attention wrapped around me like a blanket, and I couldn’t help but wonder what message awaited me. It was an unexpected experience, standing in the spotlight of a body of prophets, prophetesses, ministers and children that usually felt so distant.

As the lady beckoned me forward, flanked by two others, an atmosphere of reverence enveloped us. She began to pray fervently, her voice steady yet filled with emotion, sharing intimate truths that only God could possibly know. The words she spoke pierced through my heart, resonating deeply within my spirit. In that profound moment, a pivotal question emerged: “Will you answer the call?”

Tears streamed down my face, flowing freely, as I was enveloped by an indescribable and overwhelming surge of God’s presence. It felt like a powerful current, wrapping around me like a warm blanket on a cold day. The weight of my emotions became almost tangible, filling the space around me with a sense of profound peace and invincible strength.

As I stood there, choked with emotion, I found my voice rising above the noise of my thoughts. “Yes—yes, Lord, I will answer the call!” I exclaimed, my heart racing with a mix of fear and excitement. One of the intercessors placed her hand on my shoulder and prayed fervently that I would possess the boldness of a lion—a courage that could conquer any challenge ahead.

The group of intercessors circled around me, their voices a harmonious blend of encouragement and determination. They lifted me in prayer, urging me not to give up, no matter the obstacles that lay in my path. I closed my eyes, wanting to hold onto this sacred moment forever, feeling utterly safe in the tender embrace of God. Time seemed to stand still, and in that divine space, I knew I was exactly where I was meant to be.

This experience has profoundly changed me, shaping my identity in ways I never imagined possible. The Darlene who existed before this journey feels like a distant memory, replaced by someone who has gained resilience and a deeper understanding of herself In Jesus. After years of longing and searching for a moment like this, I can confidently say that it has finally arrived, and I am embracing it with open arms. I no longer feel the weight of shame regarding my experiences; instead, I view them as a testament to my strength and growth. I am eager to share my story, not only to honor my journey but also to inspire others who may be facing their own challenges.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee    Psalm 51:10-12 KJV

• BLOG