Fix Again

Fix Again

Author Darlene J. Conard

Beneath my feet lay pieces of broken toys. A wheel here, a marred block there, and a few pieces from a torn doll indicated that children actively played. If those toys had feelings, I could relate to their brokenness. I’m sure all of us could!

I find immense inspiration in watching the series called The Chosen. The series beautifully depicts the imperfections of the disciples, portraying them as short-tempered, hungry, tempted, angry, argumentative, and filled with self-doubt. In a particular episode, Mary Magdalene succumbs to temptation when a demoniac begins to remind her of her troubled past. She listens intently as he cruelly recalls the depths of her past sins, causing shame to overwhelm her. Mary finds herself revisiting her old haunts and falling back into her previous destructive habits.

After Jesus sends several disciples out to look for her, Matthew and Peter finally find her sitting in an alley. They plead with her to come back. “He already fixed me once,” she replied. Matthew’s response to her is unforgettable: “He can fix you again.” The scene really struck a chord within me, making me feel like I have asked God to forgive me a thousand times. I’m tired of hurting, struggling, and taking unknowing steps that end in disaster. I’m tired of questioning why I’m always seen as the enemy when I’ve tried to help by praying, encouraging, and doing good things. Isn’t that what Christians do? I’m tired and broken, and I don’t want to hurt anymore. Brokenness isn’t pleasant in the least.

Getting back to those broken toys most would throw them in the trash.  Some have dedicated themselves to restoring them. “I’ll take time to clean them thoroughly, examine parts, replace brokenness with new, mend torn pieces with needle and thread, whatever it takes.

Hours upon hours, even days, have been poured into restoration. Evidence of its battered state is no longer present, yet its uniqueness is preserved.  

“God, that’s exactly what You do! Devastation rushes in with its hands, pulling, rending us, and leaving scars. You don’t throw us away as some do.” It’s true, He fixed us once, but it won’t be the last. Restoration isn’t beyond Him.

“For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.” (Jeremiah 30:17 KJV) This is one of many scriptures of God’s restoring power.

Isaiah 42:9 is a promise, “Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.” Seek Him with all your heart, mind, and soul. Talk, cry out to Him plow through your brokenness. He will hear and answer. Yes, beloved, it will take time; however, you will be restored. The reasons behind toy restorers are the same. “Someone saw my worth.”

I have experienced numerous challenges and setbacks in my life, but each time, I have found the strength to overcome them with the help of my faith in God. His restorative power has been a source of resilience and hope for me, allowing me to heal and grow stronger after every trial. I have been broken many times, but God has restored me every time.

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