Author Darlene J. Conard

“God use me for Your glory! Give me the heart of a servant,” flowed from my soul every time my knees bore into my bedroom carpet. At the time I was a born again convert whose heart transformed from a cold, dark, bitter hard stone to being fervent, compassionate, full of God’s light. I meant every word!  It felt so good to no longer be bound by those heavy weights!  Those prayers ushered me right into multiple trials coming from every direction!

I continued, “God use me for Your glory! Give me a heart of a servant!” Sometime afterwards an evangelist testified about praying for God to use him. He goes on to explain that kind of prayer is a prayer of surrender. The outcome will determine our level of submission to God. The invitation releases trials. He too wondered, “Why is it the harder I pray for God to use me, everything hits at once?” I don’t know where to begin with what I learned.  Dare I say, God used me for bait. (laughing) He certainly puts us on the spot!

“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”  (Proverbs 27:17 KJV) I’ve heard this, it makes sense. The reason you bother some people is because you bother their demons. So much truth is in that. As glory a carrier within them are revealed. Here is the two-edge sword.  

 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you” …    James 4:7-8

There is a price to pay for the anointing. You may be saying, “Darlene, Jesus paid the price at Calvary.” He bled and died and resurrected defeating hell. He never promised afterwards life would be a bed of roses. He promised strength, direction, grace, and mercy.

God used my grandmother so mightily to help people. She paid a price; she certainly went through the fire. From accusations to mockery, she stood firmly on the gospel. She inspired me with the way she prayed for her enemies, clothed, fed those without, visited the sick and made herself available. Through her obedience the Lord revealed Himself to her through visions, dreams and angelic visitations.  “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: but rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” 1 Peter 4:12-13 KJV

 I look back at those times, the heat of the battle seemed more than I could bear.

“What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!”

“O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer. Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer. Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer! In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.”          –  Joseph Medlicott Scriven-

Joseph Medlicott Scriven wrote the song, “What a Friend We Have in Jesus, after a series of losing loved ones.

It’s true we often reject peace in exchange for satan’s lies. Our history books are full of intense wars, the strategic efforts crafted in the hands of hatred, greed, jealousy, and pride. The earth has seeped a great amount of innocent blood. Those wars were generated from an inner war, good, evil, and self.

David devised a plan to take Uriah out after learning Bathsheba carrying his child. 2 Samuel 11:15. He should have been on the battlefield. He was in the wrong place; the wrong time and he fell into temptation. God wasn’t his first love. He knew Uriah didn’t belong in the frontline of the battlefield alone.

He sacrificed someone who was loyal to him. It’s heartbreaking to me! Loyalty is everything. Such devotion is priceless. Uriah didn’t have a reason to question his king. God didn’t blot him out. He was still known a man after God’s own heart. God confronted him through Samuel. David humbled himself in the sight of God. “Thou shalt not die David.” 2 Samuel 12:13

Yes, the inner war is fierce at times. There is an old Cherokee parable that explicates an inner war.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.  It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” 

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”  The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”  The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

We wrestle with ourselves, God, and principalities of the air.

I thought long and hard on the passage in Isaiah referring to Lucifer, the fallen angel.  They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee, and consider thee, saying, “Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms; That made the world as a wilderness, and destroyed the cities thereof; that opened not the house of his prisoners? All the kings of the nations, even all of them, lie in glory, everyone in his own house.” (Read Isaiah 14:16-18) He will narrowly be looked upon. The damage is taken into consideration; it’s quite a bit when he amounts to nothing. Think about how one thought comes to mind, a destructive thought all dressed up looking exactly right. Deviously that seed penetrates deep within our spirit. It takes root. Roots are dominant when watered well. All it needs is for you to forfeit truth.

Hold tight to truth! Seek God with all your heart, you will overcome by the blood of the Lamb!

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