In loving memory of Shannon Bailey Sigley

Author Darlene J. Conard

Several things interrupted my busy schedule for Tuesday. It being my friend’s birthday made it difficult.

 Covid changed everything! It took time away from us. Since we were in quarantine, we didn’t get to spend time together. I admit, I was so angry that although we lived in the same town it distanced us. A distance that felt like millions of miles away.

Shannon passed away on February 1, 2020. I’ll never forget the phone call. “Darlene, Shannon passed away.” An uncomfortable silence left a wide-open space. Was I angry at God, myself or Covid or all three. “I have to go!” I answered. The moment I hung up, I let the phone slip from my trembling grip on the floor. In all honestly, I don’t remember what else was said. Nothing at that moment felt real. Is this a nightmare that I can’t shake myself loose from? Did I just hear right? At the top of my lungs I screamed, “Why God did you take my friend? I loved her!” I’ll never forget His response. “I loved her more.” His words silenced my rage. He was listening. “God, I just don’t get it.” Heavy sobs trapped the rest of what I needed to say. I wanted to say, “Am I to be as dust in the wind, people making me part of their lives only to be shut out, or loosing friends to death? What has caused this vicious cycle? I can’t do this anymore God, I just can’t.”  

I realize the capacity of my transparency is great. I’m unveiling my secret wars as God deals with me to do so. Someone, more than one is going through the same thing.

Feelings and memories began surfacing. All that I had planned in my mind was to go out and do something to honor her, celebrate that she was my friend, never leaving my heart. At 3:49 pm, my friend Tigger who lives in another town calls me to go sightseeing on the mountain.

That day in the setting of the sun we got out of her jeep and began shouting praises to God. A new beginning,” I said looking at her in awe, “we are going to experience the glory of God like we’ve never experienced. We began praying for each other, our nation, all nations, friends and family.

The birthday memorial I had in mind was nothing compared to what God had in store!

In Loving Memory of Shannon Bailey Sigley

“The right hand of the Lord is exalted: the right hand of the Lord doeth valiantly. I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.”

Photo by Darlene J. Conard

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